In my adult life, I have experienced constant criticism about almost everything I chose to do. When I wanted to move to another country, I was told, – Get off the tree.- When I wanted to open a restaurant, I heard, – Who do you think you are, coming to a new country and trying to do that? – When I arrived in the United States, the judgment became even louder. People in my life began criticizing not only my choices, but even my appearance.

Before I was struck with Bell’s palsy, I felt confident. I liked how I looked. I felt comfortable in my skin. I was popular, social, alive. Then everything changed. When Bell’s palsy hit, my entire belief system collapsed. I suddenly realized that my confidence had been tied to my appearance and to how others saw me. That was the moment I understood how much inner work I still needed to do – self-love, self-worth, and the deep knowing that I am enough.

Over the years, I’ve met hundreds of people, and many of them contributed to my growth. But two individuals I encountered in the past decade – both close friends – affected me deeply. I felt they sealed an important lesson in my life. One judged my appearance, and the other judged the patterns of my behavior. At the time, I didn’t realize how much power their words had over me.

The one who judged my appearance pointed out my flaws but never the good. On top of the emotional pain I was already carrying, his judgment shattered me. I needed air. I needed space. I went for a walk, feeling completely broken. My heart was aching, questioning my existence, and sadness had taken over. Then, in the exact moment I needed it most, a young man riding a bike passed me, stopped, looked into my eyes, and said,  -You are beautiful. –  In that moment, I knew the message came from my higher self, comforting me saying, – we are with you, cheer up. – I smiled at the young man, thanked him warmly, and whispered, thank you, spirits, for your kind words.

The friend who criticized my behavioral patterns – I initially accepted his feedback with love, because I truly wanted to learn about myself, especially my tendency to please others. His words helped me see patterns I needed to heal, and for that, I am grateful. It took me years to break those habits.

But something shifted. Once I began loving myself and honoring my own choices, the criticism didn’t stop – it changed. He began judging me for not going out enough, for not meeting friends, for canceling plans even when I had valid reasons. And that’s when I had a quiet but powerful realization: – Why am I constantly under a microscope? Is this about me… or about him? – Does he miss the old version of me, the one who accepted being judged?

We eventually grew apart. Not because anyone was “wrong,” but because we were no longer on the same frequency. He didn’t understand me anymore. And I no longer needed to explain myself.

Looking back, I can now see that every person, every moment of discomfort, was shaping my relationship with myself. Here is what I have learned:

Criticism sometimes enters your life to wake you up – to help you see patterns, grow, and heal. But once the lesson is learned, what no longer serves you will either transform… or fall away.

And the biggest truth of all? When someone criticizes you consistently, it is not always about you. Often, it reflects their own wounds, their own unhappiness, their own fears, or even their jealousy. What matters is awareness – learning to recognize who supports you unconditionally, and who chooses to pick at you and your choices.

Life is a choice. You are allowed to walk away. You are never required to give your power to another person.

So look in the mirror each day and remind yourself:
I am enough. Peace and love.