From my earliest memories, I always felt very different from other people. Life seemed challenging as I navigated through a society filled with adult energies, manipulations, lies, and deception, often leaving me feeling out of place. With an intense awareness of right and wrong, I understood the consequences and implications of one’s actions. Conflict became intolerable, and the wars, violence, and vulgarity in the world, particularly in my native Israel, left me questioning my sense of belonging on this earth.

The struggle wasn’t confined to societal challenges alone; my home, with its seemingly random rules, posed its own difficulties. A religious school further added to the disconnect, as I found little resonance in the study of religion. I could not accept the rules made by humans, then projected that God was the one who created the nonsensical rules. My frustration worsened with a feeling that I was going to school to be taught by an indoctrinated teacher who simply followed what she was taught, passing her education to us, the children. I had no interest in biblical study; it bored me as I found it contradicting to my belief. Teaching hatred or sacrifice through the eyes of God appalled me.

My coping mechanism involved suppressing emotions to shield myself from hurt, a strategy that inevitably influenced my adult life, both positively and negatively. Despite my quest for peace and harmony, my house offered no comfort. Day and night brought their own challenges, with bedtime visits from shadowy spirits that seemed to choke the life out of me. Attempts to share this with my busy mother were useless, and I faced this battle alone. One night, I decided to end my fears, and if it would cost my life, then so be it. This was the night that they mysteriously ceased.

Being a loner became a natural consequence as I struggled to endure human behaviors that my young self found unbearable. Seeking answers from the human realm proved ineffective, leading me to explore spiritual avenues. Spiritual books, channelers, near-death experiences, and past life regression became my sources of solace, providing answers that resonated with my soul.

I always understood that my family and I were different, a feeling confirmed in recent years when I discovered I am an Indigo child. Throughout my life, I’ve been driven by a strong sense of justice and peace, even in hostile environments. One memorable incident occurred in my workplace, where an older lady was verbally abusive to coworkers without punishment despite numerous complaints to management. The victim was dismissed, and the abuser continued unchecked. As an Indigo child, I couldn’t tolerate such behavior, feeling complicit if I remained silent. When she targeted me, I confronted her, leading to a manipulative response and accusations against me. Regardless of my efforts, justice was denied, and I was unjustly criticized. While I understood the owner’s fears, I couldn’t prioritize protecting the abuser over the innocent. It was a clear injustice on all levels.

As we all know and feel, there’s a lot of chaos going on in our lives. Some go with the crowd, while others stand up and fight for the truth. If you feel unconventional and refuse to comply with society’s norms, understand that you are not alone. We are free to reject the inconsistencies, misconceptions, and regulations imposed upon us that don’t align with our values. You are here to contribute to evolution, and we need strong-minded people, especially in such turbulent times. Stand up for your truth and beliefs; no one can take that away from you. It may or may not resonate with others, but the good thing is, you are you. 🫵🌱